Medicinal Value
by namjai
Summary: An all-female away team's medical mission is disrupted by an annoying old foe.


_Author's Note: Written for __**cat_latin **__in the __**femme_fic**__ 2009 ficathon on LJ. __**cat_latin**__'s prompt requested: __"An all-female away-team encounter Mudd while on a mission. He is his usual slimy, con-artist self. They teach him a lesson. Bonus points for a humorous conversation amongst the women on the relative merits of trousers over mini-skirts, and what a tool Kirk is." _

_I don't think I won the bonus points, ah well! I've never watched the animated series, so I only drew on Mudd's TOS appearances for this fic, and this story takes place after both of those episodes. Finally, thanks to my ever-patient beta, __**orchida**__!_

*** * * ***

**Medicinal Value**

"Really? He was sleeping with my counterpart in the mirror universe and that's why he was leering at me when I first came on board? I suppose it's good to know I wasn't imagining things. But that other Marlena, I can't say much for her taste."

"I'm not sure how much her taste came into it," Uhura said. "She wanted to be a 'captain's woman' and on the Enterprise, that narrowed her options down to one, didn't it?"

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

Uhura chuckled, but then added more seriously, "I wouldn't be too hard on her. She did seem rather desperate. It was a difficult universe, and, really, no one's counterpart reflected well on them. Unless you're Mr. Spock."

"All the more reason why Kirk's thinking I'd be anything like her is--"

The women's conversation was interrupted by the sound of Uhura's communicator -- it was Christine Chapel, who asked, "Do you have the results from your scans?"

"Yes, Lieutenant Moreau has confirmed what Star Fleet command suspected. The atmosphere of this planet and the location of this colony near its equator create the perfect seedbed for the Versluis virus."

"Any trace of the virus itself?"

"Not yet, no."

"That's good to hear," Christine said. "Because I have had all of two colonists come in for the inoculation. Did the governor make the announcement?"

"He said he was going to," Uhura answered. "We were just headed to his office to tell him about the results of our scans."

Now they heard Janice Rand's voice in the background. "Tell him whatever he's doing, it's not enough."

* * * *

The governor, an affable man in his early fifties, listened to the two women recount the results of Marlena's scans and how so few colonists had visited Nurse Chapel. His concern seemed sincere, if a bit distracted.

"I sent out a message encouraging all citizens to report for vaccination. I can't force them to. We put up notices, maybe as more people see them..."

"Well, that's just it, Mr. Haugen," Uhura said. "We saw one of the notices on this building. But it took us by surprise, because we hadn't seen them anywhere else."

"Oh? I'll have to ask Collins about that. She was tasked to disseminate the posters."

"Mr. Haugen, may I ask: Have _you_ been to receive your vaccination?"

"Not yet, but I will! I definitely will."

Uhura glanced at Marlena, who looked as bemused as Uhura felt. Eric Haugen's benign ineffectuality seemed hardly suitable to run a colony of this size, but the place had been trouble-free so far as the Federation knew. Maybe it worked for him.

"If you went to receive the vaccine yourself," Marlena said, "it would set an example for the colonists."

"Oh yes, very good idea." He nodded and smiled, until Uhura broke the silence.

"So you'll go."

"I'll check my schedule, and make sure of it."

"There is a certain amount of urgency, Mr. Haugen. The Enterprise is returning for us in two days. It should have been ample time to complete the work, but not if everyone waits until the last minute. And the consequences of _not_ getting these vaccinations completed could be very serious."

"Of course, of course. You're right."

A glint on the governor's wrist caught Uhura's eye: a somewhat thick bracelet, made of some kind of silver metal and unadorned except for a row of pinpoint lights near his wrist. It struck her that she had seen these before, all over the streets, people wearing these -- she had taken the lights for jewels, in fact.

"That's an interesting piece of jewelry, Mr. Haugen. Where did you get it?"

"Oh this? That's not jewelry." The question seemed to snap the governor out of his vague haze. Now lively, he said, "It's medicinal."

"Really?" Marlena said. "What for?"

"For the Versluis virus, of course. These are designed to send a pulse of natural herbal compound that boosts the body's immunity to the virus. See?" He held out his wrist to show the bracelet's lights briefly dim, then regain brightness. "There it goes! And it only needs to be refilled every ten days, at a very reasonable cost."

Uhura and Marlena exchanged a look, one that apparently provoked the governor to say, "But I'm sure your vaccination is very useful! I will go see Nurse Chapel, don't worry."

"Governor," said Uhura, "where can we get such bracelets?"

"Oh, that's at Dr. Scanlon's Apothecary. Very easy to find -- let me show you on the map."

As he leaned over his computer to bring up a plan of the colony, Uhura asked, "Has this Dr. Scanlon been here long?"

"Hmm? Oh, not long. A month or two. He's been very successful though."

"I'm sure," Uhura said, and the governor didn't seem to notice the irony in her voice. "We can't wait to find out all about it."

* * * *

The "apothecary" wasn't hard to find: If Uhura and Marlena had gone down this street while taking tricorder readings, they would have seen the clumps of people gathered outside a gaudy storefront. The bracelets were very much in evidence.

"Do you think they're here for refills?" Marlena said.

"Looks like it."

They slipped in among the customers and made their way up to the storefront window, their Star Fleet uniforms drawing a few perplexed or even slightly hostile glances. But all reactions seemed overlaid by that same vagueness the governor had displayed.

Through the window, Uhura saw a bustle of customers browsing the various displays and congregating around a counter where, presumably, Dr. Scanlon held court. Uhura could only catch glimpses of him at first – a portly man in a blue tunic that echoed the look of Star Fleet's medical uniforms. Then a tall customer stepped away and she saw the doctor's face.

Uhura narrowed her eyes. He was no doctor at all.

"I don't believe it."

"What?" Marlena said. "Do you know him?"

"Yes, I do, too well. That, Lieutenant, is Harry Mudd."

* * * *

This time Marlena moved through the gaggle of customers without drawing a glance -- she had changed to civilian clothing.

"Let's go in and find out what he's up to," Uhura had said. "But it has to be you -- he met me during the Enterprise's last run-in with him. He'd recognize me and run."

So Marlena hid her tricorder in her jacket pocket and played the interested customer, browsing the shelves. But even if she blended in with the bustle of the place, she realized she wasn't going to be able to scan a bracelet here without drawing notice. She'd just have to buy one and get it back to Christine, where the two of them could determine what exactly the "medicinal" value of the trinket was. And to make her purchase, she would have to run the gauntlet of Harry Mudd.

All right. Never mind Captain Kirk's overtures. _This_ was leering. And seeing a scantily clad assistant near Mudd made the experience even more unpleasant -- she feared he might try to recruit her.

But he smiled and declared, "You must be a new customer! You see, I'd remember your lovely face, darling."

"Or you'd notice that I'm not wearing a bracelet yet," Marlena replied, placing her choice on the counter. "I'm from Iola Colony B. I've heard so much about your product, I beamed across the planet to see for myself."

Mudd's smile had slightly faltered at Marlena's cool tone, but he recovered at the mention of Colony B, and said, "Excellent idea, young lady." He took the bracelet she had chosen and, using a device that looked something like a converted hypospray, he popped open a small cap near the clasp and injected something into the bracelet. "And," he continued, "I will offer this at a discount -- a happy customer's word of mouth is the best way to a new market!"

"I suppose the real test of whether I'm happy is if I don't come down with the Versluis virus."

"But it's far more than that. Scanlon's Supplement is for all-round health, not just preventing a little flu."

She raised her eyebrows. "Versluis is hardly a 'little flu.' Perhaps I should get the vaccine too."

He waved her concern away. "If you choose to." Startling her, he grasped her hand, pulled her arm forward, and snapped the bracelet on her wrist. "What I do know is that you will be thrilled by the results of my supplement."

She snatched her hand back, ignoring his satisfied smile, and on the counter slapped enough credits to cover the full, non-discounted price. "Thank you," she said and sharply turned away.

She had just barely reached the door when she felt it, like a creeping fog around her brain. Suddenly Mudd's behavior didn't seem all that offensive, suddenly the day was more pleasant, the chafing in her right boot that had been bothering her all day was vanishing, or maybe she just didn't notice anymore…

"Marlena!" A voice broke through Marlena's reverie -- Uhura's.

"Oh, hello." It scarcely seemed important now, but Uhura seemed to care, so Marlena held up her wrist. "I got the bracelet. Should we go see Christine? We can show her … Scanlon's Supplement, it's amazing."

"Mmm hmm. I see that." Uhura seized her arm, and opened the bracelet's clasp.

"Hey!" But the fog was evaporating. Marlena wobbled a bit, and Uhura guided her past the customers to a nearby bench.

Uhura looked at the bracelet and grimaced. "I guess we know what this thing does."

* * * *

At the hospital, Christine Chapel analyzed Marlena's bracelet while the colony's medical chief hovered.

"None of the staff here wear them, of course," Dr. Alma Marston was saying. "We thought it was nonsense, but figured it was some harmless herbal supplement."

"You didn't notice any change in the colonists' behavior?" Christine asked.

The doctor shrugged. "It's true people seemed unusually pleasant," she said, "even a little docile, but they got their work done still. Life went on the same, more or less ..."

Christine felt the urge to shake the woman -- how could anyone have been so complacent? But experience makes a difference, she realized, and so she told Dr. Marston with an understanding tone, "Serving on a starship makes you much more attentive to those kinds of behavior changes. Alien possession, transporter accidents ... anything you can think of, we've seen."

"So what is it in these bracelets?"

"It's a compound -- with at least one banned ingredient -- that induces compliant behavior and suggestibility and sometimes a mild euphoria."

"Does it have _any_ health benefits?"

Christine gave a short laugh. "Yes. There are also traces of iron and vitamin C."

Dr. Marston looked over to the bed where Marlena lay dozing, the medical monitor gently beeping above her. "Lieutenant Moreau seems to be no worse off than a little fatigue, but her exposure was barely a few minutes."

"That's why you and I need to come up with some kind of antidote. We don't need a whole colony of people on withdrawal, even if all they're doing is sleeping it off."

* * * *

Uhura walked right into the apothecary in her Star Fleet uniform, heading for the main counter where Harry Mudd was chatting up another customer with an ingratiating smile.

But as soon as he spotted Uhura approaching, he hastily dropped the bracelet into the customer's hand and began to back away. "Ah, darling, so sorry ... Here, let me assistant help you" -- and he pulled over the young woman, who was skidding and surprised as she took her new place and her boss made a dash for the rear door.

Uhura had expected as much. Ignoring the protests of the assistant, she passed through the door herself, into a storeroom. Another door leading outside was swinging closed, and when Uhura stepped through it into an alley, she saw Mudd attempting to flee on foot -- but he didn't get very far. Blocking his path was Yeoman Janice Rand, pointing a phaser in his direction. And when he turned around, there was Uhura, weapon trained on him as well.

"Ladies, ladies! I mean, fine Star Fleet officers, how may I assist you? In" -- he cleared his throat ostentatiously -- "me entirely legal business here."

"All right," Uhura said. "Why don't we step into your office and talk about your 'entirely legal business'?"

"Lieutenant ... Uhura, wasn't it? Delightful to see you again, and I'm sure we can come to an understanding..." He seemed to be trying to sidle away from the two women holding him at phaser-point, but then his shoulders sagged, and he led them back inside the storeroom.

Once there, Uhura closed the door leading to the noisy store, while Janice confronted Mudd.

"You might want to tell us why you are drugging a whole Federation colony!"

"Drugging? I'm providing a healthful product."

"We've analyzed the contents of these things," Rand held up one of the converted hyposprays, "and you're drugging them."

"It's harmless! The side effects are mild and will wear off easily."

"The side effects were deliberate, weren't they? They were intentionally added to simple vitamins to make these people more pliable customers who would empty their pockets for you -- or worse. Your assistant wears a bracelet. Has she been coerced into working for you?"

"What kind of man do you take me for?"

"That kind that would sell an illegal concoction that puts a whole colony under your spell."

"Young lady, _I_ wear a bracelet. It's empty. So is my assistant's. My salesgirl needs to be sharp, on her toes. She can't be in a fog." Mudd obviously immediately regretted those last words, tantamount to a confession.

"On top of everything else," Uhura said, "you claim your product will protect against the Versluis virus, when it won't. And you've got everyone so befuddled they won't go in for the vaccinations they will need if this planet experiences an outbreak."

"I never told anyone to avoid getting a vaccination..."

Uhura ignored this attempt at more feigned outrage. "So here's what you're going to do: You're going to help us. Early tomorrow morning, Nurse Chapel is going to set up her vaccination clinic here, in your store, and you are going to be the good host I know you can be. And you'll convince everyone to turn in their bracelets, take an antidote to what you've been selling, and then take the real medicine."

* * * *

Mudd was telling the truth on one count: There were no drugs in his assistant's system, and her bracelet was empty. Unfortunately for him, this earned him a slap from the young woman. "I've been paying you for refills!" she said before she stormed out.

One by one, colonists -- beginning with the sheepish governor -- accepted the antidote concocted by Nurse Chapel and Dr. Marston. With the bracelets off, the antidote effected an immediate difference in these people's demeanor: less bland, more alert -- and less inclined to fawn over the charm of "Dr. Scanlon."

Harry Mudd shot the Star Fleet officers an occasional aggravated look, but otherwise put on a good show, ushering his loyal customers into lines, while Rand tailed him, keeping records of each patient and each returned bracelet. Marlena Moreau, back on her feet again, assisted Nurse Chapel, while Uhura oversaw the whole operation.

Once the colonists' minds were sufficiently cleared, they were then put through the usual procedure of information and consent regarding the vaccination. Most accepted it, while a communal embarrassment over having fallen for Mudd's scheme spread across the room.

As the day wore on, patients arrived who no longer needed Mudd's persuasion, as they were dragged in by newly clearheaded relatives and friends. The atmosphere for Mudd, meanwhile, became increasingly uncomfortable, but still, Rand would not let him sneak off.

When finally the lines thinned out toward evening, Mudd announced, "Well, me darlings, it was lovely to help you. But now that you've successfully run me enterprise into the ground, I'll be off. I've got me own spacecraft waiting for me on the outskirts of town, and I'll get out of your hair" -- he gestured toward the now bedraggled store -- "as you clear this out." He gave a little bow and moved toward the door.

"Not so fast," Uhura said, taking his arm. He dragged his heels as she led him to the governor, who was waiting by the door, flanked by colony security officers and looking much sterner than he had yesterday in his office. "Governor Haugen would like to have a word with you."

"Oh?" Mudd grinned nervously.

"That word, Harry, is _restitution_."

His face fell. "Restitution?"

"Yes, repaying every penny you made from bilking these colonists." Uhura smiled and turned Mudd toward the governor's glowering face. "I hope you kept good records."

"And _then_ I'll be free to go?"

"And then you'll be held until the Enterprise arrives tomorrow."

Mudd scowled. "Oh no, not Kirk. That man has it in for me."

"It wasn't Captain Kirk who caught you this time."

"His crew then! I'm persecuted by you people! Persecuted, I say!"

Uhura patted him on the arm. "Calm down, Harry. I'm sure everything will be all right. And if it's not" -- her gesture toward the boxes of discarded bracelets was accompanied by a mischievous smile -- "you can always get by with a dose of your own medicine."

**The End**


End file.
